Why Am I Here?
The last couple of weeks i’ve been feeling like i’ve had enough of being in Afghanistan. I’ve been really missing Australia, the beach, the ocean, good food, freedom, sunshine, warmth, and some semblance of sanity in the culture around me (yes, even in the Byron Bay area! ).
I’ve been living in Kabul for seven months now, with a month off in the middle of that, in England – which didn’t really have any of the above things either (except, possibly, freedom)! And i want to stay until i’ve done at least a year here – it will help my job prospects when i finally escape.
But i’ve been wondering if i’ll be able to stand another four months here (i’m going to England again, for another month, in about a month’s time) without losing my mental and physical health! September seems like a very long way away. And i’m getting the feeling i might not even get away from here that soon…
This has been the longest and coldest winter i’ve had to endure for twenty two years – since the last full winter i spent in England before going to live in Australia. And i’m not just not used to it any more. I don’t think i ever was used to it – but i’ve got an alternative nowadays, i could be on the beach in Australia! Why am i doing this to myself?
But my mood has lifted that last couple of days. Yesterday was the first day of spring – and it really felt like it. It was sunny and warm all day. Not warm warm, really, but compared to what it’s been like it felt warm. And it was warm in the sun. So warm, in fact, that i managed to get sunburn on the top of my head, sitting out on our patio in the morning, catching up with some missed vitamin D production and reading. I don’t like getting sunburnt – but it’s got to be better than frostbite!
I still don’t know what i’m doing here, but i feel a lot better about it today!